I need a new bedpost, I'm running out of places for notches.
So the new Fall Out Boy CD dropped tueesday. It's okay, my primary complaint is that its obviously derivative. Of what, you ask? A lot of things. A track by track cross anaysis:
1. "Thriller": Jay Z has a cameo and its obviously phoned in. Like I'm pretty sure the secretary was like "Jay-Z's holding on line 5"and the producer was like "Thanks, Veronica." and held the phone up to the mic. The lyrics are bad, but Patrick Stump's cadence in this song reminds of bagpipes. In the okay way. By far the WORST track 1 in the history of recorded music. Ridiculous lyric: "Cry on the couch all the poets come to life "
2. "The Take Over, The Break's Over": Makes up for the lameness of track one, well, musically. Lyrically, its...meh: "Baby, seasons change but people don't./And I'll always be waiting in the back room/.I'm boring but overcompensate with/ Headlines and flash, flash, flash photography. /We don't fight fair. /We don't fight fair. /They say your head can be a prison./Then these are just conjugal visits./People will dissect us till /This doesn't mean a thing anymore." They can be clever when they wanna. I blame Babyface for this track.
3. "This Ain't A Scene, it's and Arms Race": The first single that sounds like it could be a Good Charlotte cover if it tried really hard. Maybe when it grows up. But who knew that shouty pop-punk (which is soooooo 2005) could be so unintelligible? No, really. Just remember the chorus (because they repeat it like 39 kajillion times) is "this ain't a sceeeeeeeeene, its a god! Damn! Arms! Race!" and not "this ain't a peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenis god! Damn! Ass! Face!" because I know it can sound like that sometimes.
4. "I'm Like A Lawyer With The Way I'm Always Trying To Get You Off (Me and You)": I wish I was lying about that title, or at least being facetious, but I'm not. That is the full name of the song. Remember your prom? If Fall Out Boy was a struggling local band that played proms, they'd play this song. And the kids would dance. That being said, they are friggin FALL OUT BOY. They sell out arenas, not high school gyms. Slow songs are not their forte (get it?).
5. "Hum Hallelujah": A definite keeper. I've hit repeat on this track a lot. For their juvenile lyrics, they sure know how to write some catchy ass tunes. And then the choir comes in and I get slightly misty. This is why they are so big. When FOB does it right, they DO IT RIGHT.
6. "Golden": Just when I thought there was hope for this album, someone busted out the piano. Everything I said about thrack 4 could apply here. Dear Fall Out Boy: leave the piano to Something Corporate, ok?
7. "Thks Fr Th Mmrs": For those who like vowels in their words this translates to "Thanks For The Memories". There are strings and harmonies tighter than Pete Wentz's pants. There are quotes from Closer and all I could think was: that's Panic's jurisdiction! It's like an adrenaline rush that goes straight to your head. There are rumors that this is FOB's "Seventy Times Seven" (the Brand New song that tells off ex Taking Back Sunday dude off for efing Brand New singer's girl). The story is that Pete Wentz effed his buddy Chris's gf and they got into a fight about it. Early FOB fans may remember Chris from "Grenade Jumper" on Take This To Your Grave. True or false, still turn it up and sing along.
8. "Don't You Know Who I Think I Am?": There's handclaps. We all know my philosophy on handclaps. I'm a sucker for a good whoa-oh as well. We all "get off on being down".
9. "The (After) Life of The Party": Phil Collins called. He wants his 1983 drum machine back. I also have a message from Flock of Seagulls: They want their synth back as well. For the love of god, your slow songs are a serious buzzkill.
10. "The Carpal Tunnel of Love": It's a sad day when you unironically steal...FROM YOURSELF. By and large this song sounds like "Our Lawyer Made Us Change The Name of This Song So We Wouldn't Get Sued" (track one from From Under The Cork Tree) with an intro riff bitten from My Chemical Romance. It's still an okay song until the screaming screamo-ness kicks in, and its just a pile of Oy Vey.
11. "Bang The Doldrums": I said it before and I'll say it again: I'm a sucker for a good whoa-oh-oh. The tune just makes me wanna bop my head from side to side. It reminds me of the bastard child of an Irish drinking song and "Sophomore Slump Or Comeback of the Year" (on FUCT).
12. "Fame < Infamy": The bridge reminds me of Panic! At The Disco. Good thing Pete Wentz likes them so much! They still sing the story of my life though: "When I'm home alone I just dance by myself /And you pull my head so close volume goes with the truth /Signing off "I'm alright in bed but I'm better with a pen"/The kid was alright but it went to his head."13. "You're Crashing, But You're No Wave": The drumming sounds like "Dance Dance" (FUCT) and the guitaring still sounds MCRish.
14. "All This Ringing In My Ears and None on My Fingers": Sounds more or less like "You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison" remixed and with an alternate vocal style. Open up your media player if you don't believe me. And let's throw in a pinch of Arms Race while we're at it. We'll call it 2.0 or reprise if you like. "sorrow is just all the rage /Take one for the team /You all know what I mean." Its so funny and there are bababababaaaaaas that follow later. Take it like a man!
and MAN is that som fugly cover art.
1. "Thriller": Jay Z has a cameo and its obviously phoned in. Like I'm pretty sure the secretary was like "Jay-Z's holding on line 5"and the producer was like "Thanks, Veronica." and held the phone up to the mic. The lyrics are bad, but Patrick Stump's cadence in this song reminds of bagpipes. In the okay way. By far the WORST track 1 in the history of recorded music. Ridiculous lyric: "Cry on the couch all the poets come to life "
2. "The Take Over, The Break's Over": Makes up for the lameness of track one, well, musically. Lyrically, its...meh: "Baby, seasons change but people don't./And I'll always be waiting in the back room/.I'm boring but overcompensate with/ Headlines and flash, flash, flash photography. /We don't fight fair. /We don't fight fair. /They say your head can be a prison./Then these are just conjugal visits./People will dissect us till /This doesn't mean a thing anymore." They can be clever when they wanna. I blame Babyface for this track.
3. "This Ain't A Scene, it's and Arms Race": The first single that sounds like it could be a Good Charlotte cover if it tried really hard. Maybe when it grows up. But who knew that shouty pop-punk (which is soooooo 2005) could be so unintelligible? No, really. Just remember the chorus (because they repeat it like 39 kajillion times) is "this ain't a sceeeeeeeeene, its a god! Damn! Arms! Race!" and not "this ain't a peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenis god! Damn! Ass! Face!" because I know it can sound like that sometimes.
4. "I'm Like A Lawyer With The Way I'm Always Trying To Get You Off (Me and You)": I wish I was lying about that title, or at least being facetious, but I'm not. That is the full name of the song. Remember your prom? If Fall Out Boy was a struggling local band that played proms, they'd play this song. And the kids would dance. That being said, they are friggin FALL OUT BOY. They sell out arenas, not high school gyms. Slow songs are not their forte (get it?).
5. "Hum Hallelujah": A definite keeper. I've hit repeat on this track a lot. For their juvenile lyrics, they sure know how to write some catchy ass tunes. And then the choir comes in and I get slightly misty. This is why they are so big. When FOB does it right, they DO IT RIGHT.
6. "Golden": Just when I thought there was hope for this album, someone busted out the piano. Everything I said about thrack 4 could apply here. Dear Fall Out Boy: leave the piano to Something Corporate, ok?
7. "Thks Fr Th Mmrs": For those who like vowels in their words this translates to "Thanks For The Memories". There are strings and harmonies tighter than Pete Wentz's pants. There are quotes from Closer and all I could think was: that's Panic's jurisdiction! It's like an adrenaline rush that goes straight to your head. There are rumors that this is FOB's "Seventy Times Seven" (the Brand New song that tells off ex Taking Back Sunday dude off for efing Brand New singer's girl). The story is that Pete Wentz effed his buddy Chris's gf and they got into a fight about it. Early FOB fans may remember Chris from "Grenade Jumper" on Take This To Your Grave. True or false, still turn it up and sing along.
8. "Don't You Know Who I Think I Am?": There's handclaps. We all know my philosophy on handclaps. I'm a sucker for a good whoa-oh as well. We all "get off on being down".
9. "The (After) Life of The Party": Phil Collins called. He wants his 1983 drum machine back. I also have a message from Flock of Seagulls: They want their synth back as well. For the love of god, your slow songs are a serious buzzkill.
10. "The Carpal Tunnel of Love": It's a sad day when you unironically steal...FROM YOURSELF. By and large this song sounds like "Our Lawyer Made Us Change The Name of This Song So We Wouldn't Get Sued" (track one from From Under The Cork Tree) with an intro riff bitten from My Chemical Romance. It's still an okay song until the screaming screamo-ness kicks in, and its just a pile of Oy Vey.
11. "Bang The Doldrums": I said it before and I'll say it again: I'm a sucker for a good whoa-oh-oh. The tune just makes me wanna bop my head from side to side. It reminds me of the bastard child of an Irish drinking song and "Sophomore Slump Or Comeback of the Year" (on FUCT).
12. "Fame < Infamy": The bridge reminds me of Panic! At The Disco. Good thing Pete Wentz likes them so much! They still sing the story of my life though: "When I'm home alone I just dance by myself /And you pull my head so close volume goes with the truth /Signing off "I'm alright in bed but I'm better with a pen"/The kid was alright but it went to his head."13. "You're Crashing, But You're No Wave": The drumming sounds like "Dance Dance" (FUCT) and the guitaring still sounds MCRish.
14. "All This Ringing In My Ears and None on My Fingers": Sounds more or less like "You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison" remixed and with an alternate vocal style. Open up your media player if you don't believe me. And let's throw in a pinch of Arms Race while we're at it. We'll call it 2.0 or reprise if you like. "sorrow is just all the rage /Take one for the team /You all know what I mean." Its so funny and there are bababababaaaaaas that follow later. Take it like a man!
and MAN is that som fugly cover art.
posted by Xlynn at 10:46 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home